Releasing Shame and Guilt: Taking Back Your Power
Shame and guilt are some of the most insidious emotions we carry—placed upon us by others, reinforced by our own inner critic, and woven into our identities so deeply that we start to believe they define us. They weigh us down, whispering that we are not enough, that we are unworthy, that our past mistakes will forever dictate our future. And yet, the truth is, no one has the right to define us by our lowest moments—not even ourselves.
The hardest part about overcoming shame and guilt is that they don’t just live in our minds; they take root in our souls. They convince us that we are unredeemable, that we don’t deserve happiness, that we must punish ourselves for things we did when we were simply doing the best we could with what we knew at the time.
If we had known then what we know now, of course, we would have done things differently. But that’s not how life works. Growth comes from experience, and sometimes experience is painful. Mistakes are inevitable. Poor decisions happen. But dwelling in shame and guilt keeps us stuck in the past, giving others—sometimes even those who hurt us—the power to control our present and our future. The more we hold onto shame, the less room we leave for healing, for self-compassion, and for becoming who we are meant to be.
Taking accountability for our actions is necessary, but accountability is not the same as self-condemnation. Acknowledging your mistakes and learning from them is part of the human experience. We are all flawed. We all have moments we aren’t proud of. But your past does not define your future unless you allow it to. Some of the strongest, most resilient people are those who have been through the darkest moments and have chosen to rise anyway. Strength is not about never falling—it’s about getting back up.
So how do we break free from shame and guilt?
Acknowledge and accept – Recognize the feelings instead of burying them. Give yourself permission to feel them but don’t allow them to consume you.
Rewrite the narrative – Instead of seeing your past as a series of failures, view it as a journey of growth. Every misstep taught you something.
Practice self-compassion – Speak to yourself as you would to someone you love. You deserve kindness and forgiveness, especially from yourself.
Stop seeking validation from others – The more we rely on external opinions, the more power we give away. Reclaim your worth by defining it for yourself.
Surround yourself with people who lift you up – Shame thrives in silence and judgment. Healing happens in environments of love, acceptance, and understanding.
Give others grace, too – When we judge others harshly, it’s often because we haven’t fully confronted our own wounds. Everyone has a story. Everyone has struggles we can’t see.
No matter what has happened in your past, you are still worthy of love, growth, and a future that isn’t dictated by your worst moments. The only way to truly move forward is to forgive yourself, release the weight of shame, and take back the power that was always yours. Lean into resilience. Choose to rise. And never give anyone more control over your life than they deserve—including your past self.
You are not your mistakes. You are your strength. You are your healing. And you are worthy of every bit of happiness that is waiting for you on the other side of self-acceptance.